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← This right here is my psychological state whenever my internet doesn't work. I keep almost finishing posts and then losing them to diabolical server connections that have it out for me, personally.

I've searched my mind for what precisely I've done to upset the server gods. I haven't taken their names in vain. I haven't starved them of blood and electricity. I'm pretty sure that I've met this month's quota of sacrificial cellular phones, although to be fair I have been keeping track of that count with a sharpie and the back of my hand, so I may want to revisit that later.

Q. Kathryn, what's the best way to sacrifice cellular phones to appease the server gods?

A. With the use of dragon blood incense and an axe.

Q. Kathryn, can I use iPods instead?

A. That's not exactly orthodox canon, but you could certainly try it. What's the worst that could happen?

Q. Why dragon blood incense?

A. Dude. Dragons.

#serverissues