Azarath Metrion Zinthos

My therapist wants me to begin practicing mindfulness as a way to combat dissociation and obsessions. It's not really new for me -- my Pagan religion incorporates meditative practices, and I attended Buddhist meditation services while in college -- but it's also not something that has been a part of my daily life. I suppose I can now look at every empty moment as an opportunity to practice meditation, but it'll take my brain a long time to adjust. I'm going to try to facilitate this adjustment by setting up a Meditation Corner, probably complete with a bright yellow MEDITATE HERE sign. But it'll still take time.

I suppose that I can not look at this process as an opportunity to practice patience.

I'm going to hate myself by the end of this.

The picture is of Raven and Starfire, two characters from the Teen Titans comics and, as shown, 90s television series. They're here because they're meditating, which is topical, but also because I've been thinking about common ground with fictional characters. I'm a writer, I say unnecessarily, given that you are reading my writing right now, and a good portion of writing is creating characters that resonate with the members of the audience. Characters that can be related to. It's very difficult for me to relate to characters: I always end up feeling left out, as if even the fictional people in my life are privy to information about emotions and body language and social things that I have somehow missed out on. So when I find characters whom I can recognize myself in, it's a big deal for me. They become important.

Raven and Starfire are two very different women. Starfire is an alien princess and Raven is a half-demon sorceress, and both have chosen to become superheroines. The picture above closes out an episode where they switch bodies via evil puppet magic, allowing them to appreciate the other's experiences all the more and grow closer as friends. It's one of my favorite episodes.

As I just said two paragraphs ago, I can pick out details from both characters that remind me of myself. Sometimes I feel like Starfire, an alien stranded on a strange planet, trying to figure out the strange language and strange behavior of the people around me. Starfire is an optimist, which is me on my best days. She and I share red hair and green eyes, too, and it goes without saying that Team Red Hair is committed to supporting its members both fictional and real. Starfire powers herself with intense emotion, feeling what she experiences and channeling it into action. I may not be on board with all of these, but I recognize the searching for, and the use of, psychophysical reaction. And sometimes I feel like a dark empty ball who craves herbal tea. Raven wakes up every day and chooses to be a heroine, and I admire that. I recognize how her difference in affect and conduct set her apart from the rest of the group, how she comes across as creepy and intimidating to her teammates, how this causes friction where she can't fix. Raven works from a place of calm and focus. She suppresses herself where I do not -- I make a point of trying to feel each emotion I get, Raven sends hers away so that she can concentrate -- but the effect on those around her is much the same. Furthermore, Raven and I both belong to Team Dark Clothes And No Pants, which I do appreciate.

Also, both women can meditate.

There's more to these characters and more to myself, of course. This isn't meant to be a comprehensive list: you would stop reading and I would stop writing in favor of tracking down more Teen Titans to watch, and so it wouldn't do either of us any favors. I'll wrap up.

Their partnership is a partnership of equals. Starfire doesn't pity Raven's flat affect and Raven accomodates Starfire's intense emotions. They find a harmony that's pretty rare among female characters on television, but that's a different article. They find a harmony, I was saying, between each other. They share space and activities together.

It probably sounds a little basic, a little too elementary, but it's honestly pretty rare out here, in the wilds of the Real World. I find it comforting, in its and my own ways.

There's much to learn from that, I think.

#TeenTitans