High By The Beach

Today is my fourth day with a fever. I really wanted to add and they said that the fourth would free me, yeah, right to that statement, but then someone pointed out that there weren't enough people on my Facebook friends list who would know the Sith Code well enough to understand the joke, and it just didn't feel worth it after that.

For a measure of how ill I've been, you should know that Lana Del Rey's album Honeymoon was released several days ago and I only just today got around to listening it.

And by "listening to it" I mean "listening to High By The Beach over and over and over and over again." I'm not ashamed. Her ridiculous video game gun is amazing.

I wouldn't be ashamed anyways, but Jack has been teaching me more about the comedic value of telling people that you feel a way you don't feel. Exaggeration for humor. Ways to confuse signals for your literal-minded friends. This has been a detour. Let's go back to Lana Del Rey.

I've never been high by the beach. I've never been high, period. I haven't even been drunk. My medications come attached to a five-page warning list of all the terrible things that can happen if they become mixed with drugs or drink. Besides, my brain comes pre-packaged with plenty of reality-questioning shenanigans, and they lose a lot of their charm when you can't control them. Friends have told me that getting high makes everything more intense. I really don't need any more intensity in my life.

I could stand to be by the beach, though. It's been a long time since I've left the house for anything that wasn't the twice-a-week drive to the MA Mental Health Center. My hips are twisted so that one of my legs is shorter than the other, which is a lot of fun when I spend too much time walking without my insert and sharp needles decide to invade my hip. That's one of those lies. It isn't fun at all. It's been happening a lot recently, tag-teaming with the fever and stranding me between my bed and my huge pink chair. Which is a shame, I think. I could stand to wander around a sprawling manor in a nightgown with the wind in my hair.

Autumn is here. There's an eclipse tonight and the air has taken on that chilled keen edge. Winter is coming and you know nothing, Jon Snow. Samhain is coming. My days of potential beach-going are going by, baby, baby, bye, bye.

Unless, of course, I convert the basement into an artificial miniature beach.

More updates to come.

#music #illness