The One With Jack And Kathryn's Wedding
- Kathryn
- Oct 29, 2015
- 2 min read

I was married about midway through this month. It's been a flurry of activity before and after interspersed with long stretches of overstimulation and exhaustion, but things have quieted since then.
The wedding and handfasting were worth it. I never really understood everyone's fixation on weddings before I myself was married, There's something momentous about your wedding, something ancient.
"People kept telling me," my husband said earlier, "that being married is this huge ordeal. Game over, everything is different, end of the world. Do you know what's actually different? I'm very protective of a small piece of jewelry. I wasn't expecting that."
I liked our wedding. It wasn't Friends or How I Met Your Mother extravagant, and I thought that was a good thing. We went outside under the trees and by the pond. My cousin, certified as the Marriage Cupid and equipped with her certificate from the Internet, presided. She has a clear, loud voice, and she spoke to a small crowd of guests in jackets and coats clustered around us.
We read poetry by Kahlil Gibran and vows stitched together from older Irish and English texts and had our hands fastened with knotted reb ribbon. My grandmothers, aunts, and mother worked hard to make everything run smoothly. My best friend took our wedding photographs with her father. My father-in-law gave our wedding toast. My father picked me up and mimed throwing me into the pond. My sister-in-law gave me a bracelet I've since put on my jewelry shelf along with other treasures. Katie, if you're reading this, I fully intend to give you a gift in return: I just haven't found one yet.
My mom brought pumpkin spice wedding cake. It was amazing. Amazing. But you know how I feel about pumpkin spice. We decided to save the specs and order an identical cake for an anniversary, which freed us up to eat the entire cake ASAP.
My only regret is that the zoo heist was aborted before we could obtain a ring bear. Something about state and federal law. Killjoys.
Other than that, A+ wedding.
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