A Place To Spin

I spin around, usually while listening to music. I've done it since I was a small child and it has evolved over the years into a part of my daily routine. So a real issue for me whenever I move anywhere is, where am I going to spin?

Finding a place to spin has been a hassle in the past. When I was at Wellesley, I was restricted to my dorm room or the empty basement gathering room, both of which couldn't guarantee that someone would walk in on me at any moment. In fact, people did. Several times. You can imagine the fallout for yourself. As for me, I've tried not to think about what those people told their friends. Now that I've moved to Michigan for our Inter-Michigan and we're preparing to move to Arizona, I've been faced with the same issue. There's nothing like explaining to your mother-in-law "Hey, I spin around aimlessly for a while each day, so, uh, if you see me doing that, that's normal for me."

So far I've narrowed it down to the unused library room and the downstairs kitchen. The kitchen is cooler and doesn't have a carpeted floor, and I've got to tell you, wooden floors are my best friend. I walk into a room, see a wooden floor, and feel a little more at home. "Yes -- I could spin here!" The downside, though, is that other people use the kitchen. I'm used to my spinning being as private as I can get it. Being out in the open feels exposed.

Conventional wisdom advises me not to care. "Dance like no one's watching" goes the proverb, and spinning is kind of like dancing if you subtracted the skill and added the compulsion. I'm used to feeling self-conscious about my spinning, though. I've known ever since I was little that it's A Weird Thing To Do, even if that didn't stop Little Me then and doesn't stop me now. Sometimes, though, I wonder what you non-spinning people do during what would be your spinning time, if you were me. Do you ... watch television? Do chores? How are you not antsy all the time?

I'm worried about finding a place in Arizona. We'll be in tight quarters with my father-in-law, and the last time I checked there were carpeted floors everywhere down there. When Jack and I find an apartment, I hope that my spinning doesn't become a problem for us, either because of a lack of space or because of creaky floors or complaints from the neighbors. I've tried taking up walking as a way to channel my pent-up spinning energy when I can't spin, but it's just not the same.

I'm an optimist. I'll figure something out. In the meantime, I have my Michigan kitchen, and I guess I'll go from there.

#mentalhealth